« Home | To s/u or not? » | random thoughts.. » | The First Entry. » 

Tuesday, February 28, 2006 

Mt Horeb Choir

I'm back home from the fellowship service at telok kurau whereby Mt Horeb choir joined in the fellowship with us. It was an amazing experience.. i was deeply moved to tears.. i guess i belong to the type of people whereby they cry when they are in fact happy and laugh when they are in fact sad? hah... yep but i was really moved by the love of God.. He is with us in Singapore, He is also with them at Korea.. He is everywhere! His truth really will go to those who seek Him with all their heart..

Mt Horeb choir was so good that we couldn't resist clapping our hands! it is usual practice that after a church presentation, we dun clap.. for we see that it is not for the glory of man that these people serve the Lord but all for the glory of God. So instead of clapping, we usually praise the Lord "Hallelujah!". but i guess just now, we couldn't resist it anymore.. perhaps to show appreciation of their talent (and hard work), we clapped :).

At the end of the service, the singapore choirs and mt horeb choir gathered for a phototaking.. they looked so blissful together and i felt the slight hint of envy. how i wish i cld be in the photo too.. in fact when i was listening to them sing before this, i alr felt slightly errmm.. sad? like a sense of regret that i wasnt able to be part of this.. ok there are a few who asked me to join the choir before.. but haven been baptised, i felt that it wasnt the right time.. and because of my non-believing family, i felt that i couldnt commit just yet.. but who really knows my heart? i YEARN to sing for HIM! although perhaps i cant sing that well yet.. but i really really want to serve Him through my singing..

the choir members frm sp and korea then sang one last hymn together, an informal one. was it "Holy is He"? it was such a touching and blissful scene and i took out my phone to video and took a photo. i felt really happy for them.. i wanted to interact with the korean members.. but.. i left alone not long after. i figured that andrea they all will be busy and i didnt want to like bother them.. and i am paiseh to get a lift back too so i walked out to the busstop alone.. but i felt peaceful. i know that God was walking with me down the road to the busstop.. its time like this when one is all alone and its quiet that one can really then feel God's presence. and i thank God for it.. of course, the sense of self-pity was forcing its way up to my heart again.. the fact that im all alone again after church.. but i fought with it. i didnt want it to spoil my night. no doubt that it is true that i am pretty lonely in church but i know God is also working with me on this. :) I just mustn't doubt Him.

i was really moved during the choir presentations.. and was really compelled by God's love, wanting to get baptised. i really want to be part of the family, join the choir, teach the kids, serve God! i guess i wanted so much to belong.. but then i realised, what if after baptism, everything remain the same? which is probably most likely the case. i mean i cant expect that after baptism, everyone will start talking to me in church. Its not going to happen. because the root of this problem is not that i am not baptised! it couldnt be. i must be clear what is my motive to get baptised.. if its just to feel belonged, then it isnt a good enough reason and i might fall sooner or later.
Baptism is a covenant with God. It is a promise to God that "yes, from today onwards, i want to serve You and put You in the centre of my life." It is only and simply just between you and God. (to be precise, baptism washes away one's sins so that one may have a part in Christ and may have the hope to enter heaven. after baptism, then you are really considered part of the big family) so the motive behind why i want to get baptised must be right first before i really get baptised in the Lord. Thank you, Lord for letting me see this now (: otherwise i would have been so disappointed after baptism when i see my situation in church still unimproved.

ok if u are getting confused.. the problem in church is that everyone is so comfortable in their own circle of friends that newcomers might find it hard to fit in. Its really bad considering that we shld bring in truthseekers and new believers often. if it remains like this, how do we expect them to stay on in church? very likely, they will just fall away... if they believe as a family or as a couple, it might not be that bad.. but if they came alone, it will be really hard for them. ok i guess this is my case.. but i really dun blame anyone.. i think thats just the way things are. if i were one of them, i'll probably behave like them too. im sure they are also struggling.. they know deep in their hearts that they shld welcome the newcomers more warmly but yet sometimes circumstances make it hard to execute such a move.. the main issue i face is the lack of sisters closer to my age in church.. its hard for me to hang out with the younger ones because i probably already cant understand the kind of problems or joys that they have compared to my kind of problems and joys. the working sisters, i find it hard to relate to them at times too and we usually can only talk abt school work and working life.. i think what i really need is a sister that is in nus with me.. or perhaps i need another me?

haha i think what i really need is GOD. i always fail to recognise this.. if i were to observe.. i think there are many people who are also as lonely as me in church. why am i only the one whining abt it? i really must learn to shrink the negative things and magnify the positive things man.. only this way can i grow spiritually.. otherwise i'll keep going around and around in circles.

One last note: the Mt Horeb choir that came were mostly working youths. they took leave to come. Thank God. but what made me amazed is that despite their busy working lives, they actually can still have time to serve God through their singing. and sing SO WELL at that. they must have put in much effort and time. and im sure they really enjoyed serving God in this manner too. but why is singapore so different? or rather, indifferent? haha. yes.. singaporeans are born with a bo chap attitude and i guess cultural differences do make a difference. but i really hope to see a change in the singapore churches soon.. time is running out. the heavenly kingdom is coming very soon.. there are still so many people out there waiting for us to reach out to them..
it pained me not able to even preach for Him. but sometimes, people just dun want to hear anymore. Its like what the bible says.. they only turn their ears to hear what they like to hear. nobody likes the truth anymore. when i first came to believe.. it was very hard to accept the truth as well..but then i realised what the saying "the truth hurts" really meant after that. it might hurt for a while initially, be it your ears, your soul, your heart... and when you finally, by God's grace, got to understand God's will and teachings, i still dun deny that its gonna hurt. it still hurts due to persecution and struggles to keep to God's commandments. but along comes peace, joy and HOPE in the Lord. I pray that you may find all these as well.

Thank you, Mt Horeb choir for sharing this wonderful fellowship experience with us. i am indeed edified.

About me

  • I'm just a passer-by in this world
  • From Singapore
My profile
Powered by Blogger
and Blogger Templates