the time of singing has come!

A day of being a living dead.
Living with no hope for the future.
Just passing the day in fear, awaiting condemnation.
In fact, already condemned.
What hope is left?
Why am I still here?
Shouldn't I just curse Him and die?
Is there still left any room for negotiation?
Is there still a chance of forgiveness?
Why am I condemned because of someone else's wrong?
Have I done wrong in the sight of God?
Am I really forever lost?

A day as a living dead.
I get to experience what it is like.
And I can understand why most would just give up.
Since there is already no hope, since I am already condemned, why should I still care?
Eat, drink, and be merry!
But that's not what I want.
Why can't I be reconciled with Him?
Why can't I serve Him?

A day as a living dead; it really felt horrible.
I hope that I won't ever fall into that deep pit.
Because I don't ever want to be condemned by God nor by man.
In my loneliness and helplessness, I could only seek Him through prayers.
I told Him I don't want to die and that I am afraid.
Thank God He answered me and He reminded me that the Holy Spirit in me is evidence of His love for me, and He has chosen me and He still loves me.
I must remember this debt of mine and repay God's mercy.

God is love.. and the basis for all that He does is love.

Labels: contemplation, counting grace, encountering God