the time of singing has come!

today is the cremation day... my mom was feeling sad that she wouldn't see my uncle-in-law anymore after that... she was also feeling regretful that she didn't chatted more with him when he called her up not long ago.. i wanted to go for the cremation... since i dont have school today. But I finally decided not to. probably it doesnt matter if I am there or not... It'll only cause me more sadness. it was probably be a very teary place to be in, everyone will call out and try to reach out for him who is no longer around as the coffin makes its way into the fire.. I felt that I will not be able to take it. I was also unable to come to the fact that my uncle's body will be turned to ashes and no longer will I see him again. I took one last look at him in the coffin two days ago when I went for the wake. Just one look was able to make my tears roll down le. How could someone suddenly just end up lying inside a coffin? His face still look about the same, like he is merely sleeping. Its like how could someone alive and kicking at one instant suddenly be motionless, reduced to be like a block of wood? I also couldnt bear for his body to be burned to ashes....

And so I prayed and ask that the Lord may lift this grief out of me (and my relatives and mom). Somehow I felt that it wasnt very right that I shld hope that his body can remain, but I just cant help feeling sad! so i pray and pray. and my God is a faithful God! He talks to me and truly comforted me. This phrase came to my mind as I prayed while thinking about the cremation scene.

"the flesh profits nothing." (see John 6:63)

Then it dawned on me that hey, why have I been grieving over the loss of the physical body? Not that I am not sad still, (i still am, over the death of a good man) but have I forgotten what my hope in Christ is about? I was truly amazed how the Lord comforted me with just that 4 words. I have almost never had such explicit encounters that God actually spoke to me through prayers. I just kept praying while thinking about the cremation for God to comfort my spirit. and then those words just ran through my head! God is amazing.

and so, with this realization, I am slightly comforted. I just hope that my mom and aunts they all will not be overly grieved. I realised the difference with christian funerals and non-christian funerals. the former is a hopeful parting that yes, we shall meet again. yet the latter seems somewhat a sorrowful separation. sigh.

also, since the flesh profits nothing, I realised it is the souls of men that matters. which mean I must perservere in my preaching work so that the souls of men may be saved.