let go?
i was rather angered during choir practice.. sighh. felt totally redundant and unwelcomed. perhaps i shouldnt have gone in the first place. I didnt think I "quited" since I have made known from the beginning that I wasnt presenting right? Did I send out conflicting message? grrr.. im sorry k, if i made things difficult for anyone. but happily I went for choir, thinking I could sing sing sing but then... got home lost in the end. perhaps I really should have gone home with yingbei.
Thats the real problem with me. I can never make the RIGHT decision. Given two options, I often choose with my heart and desires, rather than with my brain. maybe I haven got a brain, thats why. I should have gone home with yb. I should have talk more with her and understand more about her thoughts and feelings regarding church and stuffs. But I chose to gratify my own desires and went for choir practice. And many a times I have already neglected my school work, doing other stuffs instead. How can I make the right decision? How do I learn to let go of certain things?
But it was really bad of me to be put off too... think everyone was under stress since tmr is the real thing and there was quite some last minute work still... Perhaps I really gave them more trouble in the end. Im glad wanzhen was there to try to knock some sense into me. She said "sometimes people dun mean what they said..." which is very true.. but perhaps it meant so much to me that I attended the practice... and so when I seemed to be in people's way, it kind of hurts. Like, do they know how much it meant to me? to be able to sing with them?
haii.. Im sorry Im whining again. This is so unedifying.
May God's peace stay within us.
Thats the real problem with me. I can never make the RIGHT decision. Given two options, I often choose with my heart and desires, rather than with my brain. maybe I haven got a brain, thats why. I should have gone home with yb. I should have talk more with her and understand more about her thoughts and feelings regarding church and stuffs. But I chose to gratify my own desires and went for choir practice. And many a times I have already neglected my school work, doing other stuffs instead. How can I make the right decision? How do I learn to let go of certain things?
But it was really bad of me to be put off too... think everyone was under stress since tmr is the real thing and there was quite some last minute work still... Perhaps I really gave them more trouble in the end. Im glad wanzhen was there to try to knock some sense into me. She said "sometimes people dun mean what they said..." which is very true.. but perhaps it meant so much to me that I attended the practice... and so when I seemed to be in people's way, it kind of hurts. Like, do they know how much it meant to me? to be able to sing with them?
haii.. Im sorry Im whining again. This is so unedifying.
May God's peace stay within us.
