the time of singing has come!

It's always so very amazing when the peace of God fills you. I can still remember how scared I was just a few days ago. The kind of fear I had was nothing like what I had experience before. I really really fear my papers. I really really fear the future. I really really fear that I would die. My limbs would grow weak, and my heart would fail me, but yet I know that I cannot allow them to be so. I know that I had to press on, no matter what. I had no other choice. I just had to keep going.

I guess it was because, after all that had happened, I really wanted to make this right - my exams. It became my focus. And so, when I realised that I just cannot make it, that there is a very high chance that I will flunk this semester, I grew helpless. Heard of learned helplessness? There came a point in time when I was in that state. I thought of the things that had happened to me in my life, and realised that I just didn't have a say in them. They just happened to me, and I am made to accept them, whether I like it or not.

Really am thankful for the rest I got from Spiritual Meeting over the weekend. And the peace that God gave me in my heart. I am reassured that nothing else really matters; I just have to make sure I stay in God. And I am also beginning to see that I have the autonomy to choose; I am not helpless. I can choose and make the right decisions.

Okaay, I better not go on. I have not yet studied for tmr's paper! :O I better go now... I am pleasantly surprised to find two emails from tjctk that came together yesterday and they pretty much said what I want to say too. So, please read on. (: