the time of singing has come!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MY BELOVED!

Three weeks, three friends.

Now there's only left one of them.

Each has returned to her own cross to bear.

It'd be at least another year, or who knows when.

The one who's left was very afraid.

It felt as though 2/3 of herself was missing.

Tears were suppressed during the entire journey home.

But she quickly realised that strength is from God;

Precious memories of crazy moments,

Of heartfelt sharings,

Of tears shed together,

Of prayers made in unity,

Of peaceful melodious harmony...

One taught her repentance, and acceptance;

Accepting her, despite her pasts, her flaws.

Truly caring for her soul, she knows.

The other taught her selflessness, and love.

Love that can endure even the cold.

Love that always translate into a smile, so that she knows very clearly that she is loved.

Tears again flowed on the entire bus journey to church.

Memories flooded her mind and she recalled things all the way from the first year.

How could anyone love her?

She knows that God truly blessed her;

Her tears, though she cries, are with hope.

She wished she was given more time.

There was still so much left unsaid,

So much left undone.

But she knows also that it is enough,

God has showered sufficient grace,

At least for now.

Enough for her to find strength in life again,

Enough for her to have a purpose and a goal to work towards.

Three weeks have also given her so much more spiritually.

There are much work to be done,

Much to be learned,

How could she slow down?

As each returns to her individual cross in her life,

let each one always forget what's past, so as to press on forward.

It is her prayer that each of them find strength and courage to carry her cross,

while moving onward,

until the day their paths cross again,

or until the day they meet, together with the Lord, up there. :-)

I've been feeling rather happy (or, at least happier than how I've been for the past months) these few days. I guess partly it is cos school's over (for now). Although I feel busy still, like there is so many things waiting to be done, yet I feel good. I want to go go go for God and because of God!

I guess it is really a matter of the choices and decisions you make. I've decided to choose what will edify me (and others), rather than subjecting myself to certain situations that will make me vulnerable and weak. I really learnt that I can choose, and decide how things go; so I am not helpless, I have a say in my future. And God is in my future. In fact, He is with me every day, every minute, every second. I feel soooooo glad just to know that. Like, He is always with me, in me; I am not lonely at all. (: And I want to spread this joy to the people around me. I hope that everyone can really rejoice, because of the Lord, and nothing else.

But, if God's will sometimes is for you to face up to certain things, or situations, then I've learnt that I must be brave enough to do it. How do I know its God's will? Cos I've tried to avoid it, but I can't... so I learnt submissiveness. Actually, I was really really scared. I don't think you know what I am talking about, or that you can understand how I felt, cos Im talking very vague here... But, I was really scared loh. Because I feel myself getting better le.. I don't want to ruin my recovery progress by subjecting myself to certain situations again. I felt that the best medicine is to go away and heal first. It was the only way; you need time for wound to close up right? In any case though, thank God, cos it wasn't that bad..... and having come through it, I feel myself getting stronger too. BUT, I got to keep praying.

OK, I better run! And probably I'll only be back late december. I really hope to immerse myself in the knowledge and love of God these few weeks. :D AND, come out stronger and better. I've said it yesterday during counselling. I want to get so close to God this theolo that even if I should lose everything, I can still smile and say, "It's OK." and praise and worship Him. So, please pray for me :)