the time of singing has come!

ugly ugly ugly

you know the game we play at Settlers' cafe

quite a dumb game huh

but those three words kept repeating themselves in my head today

):

i dont even know how to pray before God

i feel unworthy

like, how long more do i need?

keep falling short of the glory of God

i think, soon, i will be cast out into the fire

but

im so tired

drained

im not sure how else to do this

what else to do

how much more effort to put in

im not sure how to change my heart

its not as easy as i made it seemed in my theolo's sermon


can i start all over again?

i thought i can once i returned from aussie

but strangely

everything remained status quo

it must be my heart

whats wrong with me

----
to remember HUMILITY (remove ALL pride please),

Not to expect anything from anyone (then each small gesture would be a blessing and grace from God),

That i am unworthy to do His work, but He gives me the chance to serve Him,

and LOVE.

you know, the love as defined by the bible?
if i truly love, then probably i can become more beautiful

not ugly
like now

my apologies