the time of singing has come!

We were late again today.

Late to have proper breakfast and lunch before we headed for church.
Late to go for morning service.
Late to wake up. Because we were late to sleep last night.
In the end,  we were still late for afternoon service.
Just like last week.

What is wrong?
I realise two persons' inertia is much greater than one's.
And I had thought two persons determination might be better than striving alone.

It turns out to be harder than I thought.

This isn't going the way I had imagined.

What is wrong?

We quickly settled down and I kept myself engaged by taking notes. But at the corner of my eyes, I see him nodding off. Why does this happen every service? What is wrong with him?

But I realise that before I see the speck in my brother's eye, I ought to consider the plank in my eyes. Why do I also find myself nodding off during services when the word ought to have satisfy my need? What is this taste, bland, and tasteless?

I find myself asking what am I here for? What am I doing? Am I happy? 

The deacon spoke about a balanced life, one that puts God first and in the centre. I know, I do know, from the core of my being I know, that if God is centre in my life, everything else will fall in place. I will be happy. I know that. But why is it so hard to put things into action? Why is it getting harder now that I must move not only one wretched being, but two?

I'm tired of this really.

The deacon exhorts that we must organise the clutter in our lives and let God take center stage. Only then can we see that our lives will become more balanced and things will fall into place better.

I desperately need to clear the clutter.

Last night, there was a huge flying cockroach in our room which escaped under our bed.  We slept in fear. This is not how I want things to be.

I need to clear the clutter in my life, so that I can find what I need easily. I need God. I desperately need Him.

I'll start with organising the clutter in our room first. Start with the physical and eventually the spiritual is what matters. Get rid of the cockroach. Wait for me, God.

Labels: encountering God