Let me do some churchwork!
Decided that even if i do not get baptised this May, im gonna still do my best to commit myself to churchwork this 3 month's break, in however ways possible.
Put that as my msn nick and in turn, spoke to a church brother, which edified me greatly. Shared with him the experiences of my spiritual walk thus far, esp ever since "marvelous dec" (a term only joyce shih will understand) last year. Turned out that he didnt get baptised immediately after he received the Holy Spirit too.
You see, i guess i was worried that God will be disappointed with me. He has shown me much grace, and all i have to repay was a heart that still cannot put complete trust in Him!? I wondered if God will understand my difficulties, or will He find me still faithless, not believing in His power?
In the end, maybe it's just me, having a myopic view of God. He sees our hearts, dear. He understands. Even if its true that you lack faith, continue to pray for it then. He will provide a way out.
But. I cant help feeling empty. Like something is missing or taken away from me. What can fill up this void? Church work maybe? I hope time will pass quickly. I want and need to be washed.
"Then Jesus said to them, “A little while longer the light is with you. Walk while you have the light, lest darkness overtake you; he who walks in darkness does not know where he is going. While you have the light, believe in the light, that you may become sons of light.” These things Jesus spoke, and departed, and was hidden from them." John 12:35-36
Im worried that this light will depart from me.
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Another question that i have is regarding church work. Can a non-baptised do church work? But who can stop one from doing church work if she really wants to? What if she already received the Holy Spirit?
I dun dare to ask people to give me church work to do cos i scared i am not really "allowed" to do so. But i really dun want to waste my first long break. I hereby dedicate this 3 months break to the Lord and pray that He might send me!
Put that as my msn nick and in turn, spoke to a church brother, which edified me greatly. Shared with him the experiences of my spiritual walk thus far, esp ever since "marvelous dec" (a term only joyce shih will understand) last year. Turned out that he didnt get baptised immediately after he received the Holy Spirit too.
You see, i guess i was worried that God will be disappointed with me. He has shown me much grace, and all i have to repay was a heart that still cannot put complete trust in Him!? I wondered if God will understand my difficulties, or will He find me still faithless, not believing in His power?
In the end, maybe it's just me, having a myopic view of God. He sees our hearts, dear. He understands. Even if its true that you lack faith, continue to pray for it then. He will provide a way out.
But. I cant help feeling empty. Like something is missing or taken away from me. What can fill up this void? Church work maybe? I hope time will pass quickly. I want and need to be washed.
"Then Jesus said to them, “A little while longer the light is with you. Walk while you have the light, lest darkness overtake you; he who walks in darkness does not know where he is going. While you have the light, believe in the light, that you may become sons of light.” These things Jesus spoke, and departed, and was hidden from them." John 12:35-36
Im worried that this light will depart from me.
------------
Another question that i have is regarding church work. Can a non-baptised do church work? But who can stop one from doing church work if she really wants to? What if she already received the Holy Spirit?
I dun dare to ask people to give me church work to do cos i scared i am not really "allowed" to do so. But i really dun want to waste my first long break. I hereby dedicate this 3 months break to the Lord and pray that He might send me!
