eternity..
Today feels like a very long day. It felt like so much has happened. Actually, most of these happened in my head. I spent a long long time thinking. When I was kneeling in prayer, when I was bathing, when I took the train....
I was telling Him, I am at a loss as to what to do now. What else should I do now?
I am really tired. I feel the pain he is going through. At moments, I wish he will just go... perhaps it is for everyone's good. But if he goes like that, the place that receives him will be so much worse than what he is enduring now. I feel tired, because I don't know how to share with my mother or my relatives the salvation of God. It's like, how would they understand? And at times like this? Critical times when my grandpa is so sick, yet I am still trying to preach?
And then I realised, it is precisely at times like this. This is precisely the opportunity for me to share about God with them, isn't it? I mean, if not now, when? When everyone is leading life happily and smoothly? Who cares about God then?
Yet I still can't find the words to my mouth, for me to testify about God's grace to them.
I am afraid of what lies ahead. I am taking one step at a time on tiptoes, praying that some divine intervention will take place. I don't want to cry anymore. Or, if I must cry, at least let me have a shoulder to lean on, or two arms to hold me tight.
I was telling Him, I am at a loss as to what to do now. What else should I do now?
I am really tired. I feel the pain he is going through. At moments, I wish he will just go... perhaps it is for everyone's good. But if he goes like that, the place that receives him will be so much worse than what he is enduring now. I feel tired, because I don't know how to share with my mother or my relatives the salvation of God. It's like, how would they understand? And at times like this? Critical times when my grandpa is so sick, yet I am still trying to preach?
And then I realised, it is precisely at times like this. This is precisely the opportunity for me to share about God with them, isn't it? I mean, if not now, when? When everyone is leading life happily and smoothly? Who cares about God then?
Yet I still can't find the words to my mouth, for me to testify about God's grace to them.
I am afraid of what lies ahead. I am taking one step at a time on tiptoes, praying that some divine intervention will take place. I don't want to cry anymore. Or, if I must cry, at least let me have a shoulder to lean on, or two arms to hold me tight.
