the time of singing has come!

Humility

Sincere inclusion

Admonishment

Forgiveness

Forgetting the pain and putting the glory of God first,
in other words, denying oneself and being very focused.

My heart was stirred again as I held the bread in my hand during Holy Communion. I still didn't understand why Jesus could do it. Why, despite so many people not caring? I mean, those people didn't even care about Him! When someone I tried to love so much didn't care about me, left me to struggle and die, my heart was wrenched to the point of death. And Jesus had to face so many whom He loved dearly, their cruel shouts and their cruel cries to crucify Him.

Jesus was also fully man. I think, He must have cried. But they weren't shed, He must have swallowed them in. Then I saw how He denied Himself. He must have reminded Himself of His work on earth. He remembered what He was here for, what He had to do, to accomplish. So He denied Himself: I am here for the glory of God. He packed away all the emotions and tears and He threw them away. He forgot the pain so that He can be focused.

Then I saw how He took one step at a time towards Calvary. How He bore the cross and walked on. Slowly, one step at a time, but steadily. There were people around Him, mocking Him, spitting at Him, talking about Him. But He walked on, keeping silent.

My Lord, thank You for this moving in my heart. I pray that this moving will always stay within me, so that I will never ever forget how much You loved me and all men. I want to remember how You denied Yourself, how focused You were. I want to do this for You, because You first did it for me. I want to take this step for You, because You took those many steps for me. I want to forget the past. Who am I? I am only a vessel of God. I am here on earth to go about my Father's business. I have no privilege to feel all these emotions even. God is good, He gives us emotions to feel life. But I have no right to waste my life away dwelling upon these emotions. I want to minimise myself to the smallest. I don't even want to see myself anymore. Please God, let me do it. Help me do this, because I want to do this for You.

But I was worried that I couldn't do it. Then God let me see the steps He took. One, two, three... Each step felt heavy, but He pressed on. One, two, three... the people around Him added to the weight of it all, but He walked on. And so I realised, I can do it. I just need to take one step at a time. It will be heavy, it will be painful, but one step at a time, I can do it. I will eventually learn the love of Christ.

The effect of God's love overflowing within my heart will be peace.