Contemplation
Espérer blogged about love and it got me thinking, "Have I been loving myself too much?" What happened to all the big talk about loving big and minimising myself to the smallest such that I don't see myself anymore? Haa. See lar, I am all talk but no action.
I was just sharing with sojourner about a sermon I heard yesterday. It was about hindrances and blockages in our life of faith. Do we actually get stuck at the checkpoints of our faith? In fact, I have been feeling "stucked" for quite a while le... Although I may have started to take on more work in church, and seemingly to have grown in the eyes of others, I know that in my heart I'm still stucked. I am not moving forward at all.
I was just sharing with sojourner about a sermon I heard yesterday. It was about hindrances and blockages in our life of faith. Do we actually get stuck at the checkpoints of our faith? In fact, I have been feeling "stucked" for quite a while le... Although I may have started to take on more work in church, and seemingly to have grown in the eyes of others, I know that in my heart I'm still stucked. I am not moving forward at all.
Today we sang hymn 429 "Mine eyes have seen the glory" and the third stanza goes like this:
He has sounded forth the trumpet that shall never sound retreat;
He is sifting out the hearts of men before His judgment seat;
O be swift, my soul, to answer Him! be jubilant, my feet!
Our God is marching on.
The feeling I get is, God is moving onward and forward too. Why am I lagging behind? See, the trumpet never sound retreat, and He is constantly working too, until the day when He comes again. I ought to catch up! I ought to move on, else I will be left behind... cos my God is marching on.
In fact, I think I know the things that I must do, so that I may break out of this current state. but I have tried so many times yet I still find myself too weak to do it. How many Holy Communion have I spent asking God to help me in this?
I don't know if it is because I haven't relied on God enough. because I thought I did... But perhaps I haven't completely surrender everything to Him. I am still stubborn to insist that I have been wrongly treated.. and the shadows of past sins still lurked around me. In a way, I am angry for the blemishes and scars that were dealt upon me. but I guess... I have to be partly responsible too.
I really want to break through these hindrances and blockages. I don't want to be stucked like this. It has been too long.... I need to forget the past, like, really forget. Not remembering anything. ANYTHING!
To start anew. Although I have been blemished because of my past, to remember that God can make me new again. It's true, mx, so you don't have to be afraid to move on.
To remember these:
God's love is more than we can ever ask for.
To trust the good of others.
Not asking what others can do for you, but what you can do for others.
Don't be possessive.
To march on, and love big.
To unlock myself (and I will be happy (:).
Just one advice (and a reminder to myself):
We tend to cuddle up in our own comfort when we are within our comfortable zone ie when all is going well and smooth for us. But don't forget to always look around you to see who are those who might not be as comfortable and to help make their way more comfy. Don't just cuddle up in your own comfort, lest you be choked by it one day.
We tend to cuddle up in our own comfort when we are within our comfortable zone ie when all is going well and smooth for us. But don't forget to always look around you to see who are those who might not be as comfortable and to help make their way more comfy. Don't just cuddle up in your own comfort, lest you be choked by it one day.
