the key that made it different
"think of wat u had done this past wk that set it different"
I don't really know exactly what's different... its probably partly attributed to me keeping to my daily bible reading and prayer again... and perhaps the deep feeling again that its been taking too long... and the resolution again to end all of this.. but I have had all these previously too.. and I failed still. Which is why I really hope that this time it is different. I have to make it different. I have to go out of my usual way so as to make it different this time.
One step at a time, no matter how small, will bring you closer to where you want to go.
You have the key; you can do it!
-----
Another thing to note.
I felt quite blessed today by the grace of God because He helped me to deal with certain circumstances appropriately again. Circumstances which I know previously will cause me to emo. But it didn't really made me so today (: Well, perhaps it almost threatened to..... but I destroyed all potentially emo thoughts at its roots. In a way, I laughed at God's sense of humour. He wasn't really trying to be funny when He purposefully set me up in situations which I hate and have always avoided. But so many times He made me face up to these situations and see how I deal with them. And slowly, I have to learn to deal with them positively. He wanted me to see my weaknesses, realise my weaknesses, and change them. Weaknesses are meant to be changed, by relying on the Holy Spirit. You might say that certain weaknesses cannot be changed, like the thorn in Paul's flesh, but your heart can be changed to be more accepting, and thankful to God. So something is still changed - your heart.
Anyway, I just felt blessed for this change of heart (which I hope isn't something temporary but that will endure and persevere).
To still remember:
Not asking for friends, but to be a friend.
I don't really know exactly what's different... its probably partly attributed to me keeping to my daily bible reading and prayer again... and perhaps the deep feeling again that its been taking too long... and the resolution again to end all of this.. but I have had all these previously too.. and I failed still. Which is why I really hope that this time it is different. I have to make it different. I have to go out of my usual way so as to make it different this time.
One step at a time, no matter how small, will bring you closer to where you want to go.
You have the key; you can do it!
-----
Another thing to note.
I felt quite blessed today by the grace of God because He helped me to deal with certain circumstances appropriately again. Circumstances which I know previously will cause me to emo. But it didn't really made me so today (: Well, perhaps it almost threatened to..... but I destroyed all potentially emo thoughts at its roots. In a way, I laughed at God's sense of humour. He wasn't really trying to be funny when He purposefully set me up in situations which I hate and have always avoided. But so many times He made me face up to these situations and see how I deal with them. And slowly, I have to learn to deal with them positively. He wanted me to see my weaknesses, realise my weaknesses, and change them. Weaknesses are meant to be changed, by relying on the Holy Spirit. You might say that certain weaknesses cannot be changed, like the thorn in Paul's flesh, but your heart can be changed to be more accepting, and thankful to God. So something is still changed - your heart.
Anyway, I just felt blessed for this change of heart (which I hope isn't something temporary but that will endure and persevere).
To still remember:
Not asking for friends, but to be a friend.
