Drawn nearer to God = drawn further away from friends?
Its back to school.
I promised myself I'll devote my three months to the Lord. Have I really done so? Well... Im glad that I am attending services regularly already, even youth service and choir fellowship. And i thank God that I've grown closer to people in church, even the younger youths. Im no longer hiding myself in a corner in church, keeping that faint smile on my face, hoping desperately for people to come talk to me. Im glad I managed to bring a few friends to church.
I can say that practically sums up my three months break. other than my work at NOSH. Nope, no partying all night long. no overseas trip with friends. didn't learn driving. didn't take up any course. Most of the time my mind was on the matters of God, how to care for His flock and how to bring people back to His fold.
So much so that I forgot how to communicate with friends outside church? The start of the school term has not been fantastic. It was alright.. I can feel God's abiding presence... but I feel somewhat lonely. As usual, I went along with my own decisions, taking up the modules and tutorial slots that I want and not letting peers' choices affect me too much.. Ha.. Am I a loner? Maybe.. But who isn't lonely on this planet? I do feel myself drawn further away from my friends... while I draw closer to God? Is it supposed to be this way? I am not so sure myself. Many might think I am weird, strange, eccentric? Am I really so? Am I abnormal? Maybe I dun belong to the norm.. Anyway i dun even know whats the norm nowadays. I try to live by God's standards and ways.. haven I? But it is hard.. when the people around you are living their lives by another standard, the worldly standard. I guess I dun open up easily to people. It isn't that I dun want to talk or share about things and thoughts. I just dunno how to start! And Im not good with large groups actually. I was never a clique-person, more a one-to-one person. And so if you were to really come to me and talk to me, you will be surprised by how much I am willing to share with you about me.
I think I need time to adjust. Perhaps the past three months I have been hibernating within God's presence. Now that its back to school and the mad rush till the end of the semester, I think I need to readjust myself back to be "in this world but not of the world". So friends, give me time if I dun seem to be myself.
I promised myself I'll devote my three months to the Lord. Have I really done so? Well... Im glad that I am attending services regularly already, even youth service and choir fellowship. And i thank God that I've grown closer to people in church, even the younger youths. Im no longer hiding myself in a corner in church, keeping that faint smile on my face, hoping desperately for people to come talk to me. Im glad I managed to bring a few friends to church.
I can say that practically sums up my three months break. other than my work at NOSH. Nope, no partying all night long. no overseas trip with friends. didn't learn driving. didn't take up any course. Most of the time my mind was on the matters of God, how to care for His flock and how to bring people back to His fold.
So much so that I forgot how to communicate with friends outside church? The start of the school term has not been fantastic. It was alright.. I can feel God's abiding presence... but I feel somewhat lonely. As usual, I went along with my own decisions, taking up the modules and tutorial slots that I want and not letting peers' choices affect me too much.. Ha.. Am I a loner? Maybe.. But who isn't lonely on this planet? I do feel myself drawn further away from my friends... while I draw closer to God? Is it supposed to be this way? I am not so sure myself. Many might think I am weird, strange, eccentric? Am I really so? Am I abnormal? Maybe I dun belong to the norm.. Anyway i dun even know whats the norm nowadays. I try to live by God's standards and ways.. haven I? But it is hard.. when the people around you are living their lives by another standard, the worldly standard. I guess I dun open up easily to people. It isn't that I dun want to talk or share about things and thoughts. I just dunno how to start! And Im not good with large groups actually. I was never a clique-person, more a one-to-one person. And so if you were to really come to me and talk to me, you will be surprised by how much I am willing to share with you about me.
I think I need time to adjust. Perhaps the past three months I have been hibernating within God's presence. Now that its back to school and the mad rush till the end of the semester, I think I need to readjust myself back to be "in this world but not of the world". So friends, give me time if I dun seem to be myself.
