the time of singing has come!

You don't have to do things so secretively you know... People have eyes. They can see. If up till now you are not able to do things in the open, then what exactly are you doing? Do you know? Why do you have to dwell in the dark when you call yourself "child of the Light"? Why do you do things that you don't want people to know?

I know, I know... I am being the selfish me again. Here I am condemning and judging others again. I am also sick of it. I wish, I wish that none of these things had happened. I wish I can be like Paul, forgetting what is past and looking forward to what is ahead (Phil 3:13)... but it's so hard. I wish I can 100% trust and believe in God, that He will have something better for me. Why can't I?

I know that it takes time... and I know that God is with me, helping me to progress. One step at a time, one, two, three,... just like how Jesus walked on to Calvary. And the truth is that, despite all that the people did to Jesus, He still loved them dearly. And He still prayed for them.

I want to do this too. Trust me, my Lord, when I say I want to do this. I want to look beyond all these, treating these as rubbish (Phil 3:8), and really focus on the cross of my Lord. But, I am only human. I am only a girl. Help me, lest I fall. Catch me, when I do stumble. Don't ever give up on me, because You are all that I have now. I promise You, I will pray and I will learn and I will change, for Your sake.

Those who wait on the Lord shall be blessed.