the time of singing has come!

i feel so much like crying.. everything was just fine. i had fun at netball. played THREE times WD. lol. but then just only, my mom called and reminded me that i got to help my dad do the tax thing again. i hate it loh. totally detest it. why must it be me? its so hard to be me. to be a goodie two shoes..
but its so that i may glorify God. sometimes i just wish i didnt have to be good. but then i have to be. so that people may see God in me. so that people might see the change in my life when i have God with me. Believing in God is an internal struggle. i feel so much like screaming and crying out loud right now. but i cant. i have to swallow it all down. or ask God to take it away.. its like why must I be the one to do it? why not my sis? ok, maybe my bro is too young to know how to do it but why not my sis? why they have to assumed it will be me? isnt this also an eg of i give them one inch they want a yard? my aunt has been doing it for my dad for years. but last yr, i helped her because she just had a baby. and i guess this yr and the years ahead, im the one to do it le.
i really feel like crying now. why am i always full of burden...? one after another, they just come clinging onto me.. i need to bREATHE. God, pls dun do this to me. i need to rest.....
why cant my pa employ someone to do it? i really dunno how to do.. neither does my sis. not even sure if my aunt gonna help this time round. she's busy with her own family liao.. shldnt be selfish too.. hai. why is my family not the typical nice happy kind? why arent my parents the working employees kind? nobody believe that i am poor. i have nothing. i only have my hope in my God.