God had prepared beforehand.
when i was doing my abnormal test just now... i cant help but wonder why was i so anxious and frustrated over just a mere test... i was thinking what had made me lose my direction and senses and imagined that the test (and a few others) was my everything? as though it was my life? i mean, its probably just a small insignificant part of my entire life! i probably wont recall this in old age! what had cloud my perceptions so much so that i thought of dying!!?
In psychological sense, i understood what it must be like for people who feel that they are like 'trapped'. i understood how they perceive themselves as helpless or even hopeless. its something that they themselves cant help it. they just cant see it! what they see is a dead end. and no U-turns! its really that terrible. sometimes, they recover on their own, the sun is up and they see the road ahead again.
In christianity sense, this is yet another test frm God. He wouldnt let me endure more than i can bear. He wouldnt let me go insane. He wouldnt leave me to die. But its a test whether I have learnt to rely and trust in Him. Have i? Did i pass?
i think for my case, it was God who knocked me into my senses again. somehow, i saw that my anxiety and frustration was no use. and that i shldnt even be letting such things take over my life. besides assignments, deadlines, tests, there are other things that i must still attend to in life!
i think i pass. but i didnt pass with distinctions. Just got to keep trying and to love God more.
the test, well i barely studied half of what im supposed to study only. haha. but at least still got chance. its a MCQ test. i also understood God's grace in letting me score so well for my first abnormal test. Its so that even if i did badly for this one, the overall result wont be that disastrous. He has prepared beforehand. :)
In psychological sense, i understood what it must be like for people who feel that they are like 'trapped'. i understood how they perceive themselves as helpless or even hopeless. its something that they themselves cant help it. they just cant see it! what they see is a dead end. and no U-turns! its really that terrible. sometimes, they recover on their own, the sun is up and they see the road ahead again.
In christianity sense, this is yet another test frm God. He wouldnt let me endure more than i can bear. He wouldnt let me go insane. He wouldnt leave me to die. But its a test whether I have learnt to rely and trust in Him. Have i? Did i pass?
i think for my case, it was God who knocked me into my senses again. somehow, i saw that my anxiety and frustration was no use. and that i shldnt even be letting such things take over my life. besides assignments, deadlines, tests, there are other things that i must still attend to in life!
i think i pass. but i didnt pass with distinctions. Just got to keep trying and to love God more.
the test, well i barely studied half of what im supposed to study only. haha. but at least still got chance. its a MCQ test. i also understood God's grace in letting me score so well for my first abnormal test. Its so that even if i did badly for this one, the overall result wont be that disastrous. He has prepared beforehand. :)
