the time of singing has come!

It felt like I've been gone so long; my life put on hold and I am allowed to stray....

It felt like God isn't there and He wouldn't know and it doesn't count whatever wrongs I may commit.. I can still catch up when I am back. I can still turn back to the right path.

It's okay to enter into lala-land.. It's okay.. It's okay.. That same old voice which spoke to the first woman is also trying to reach out to me now.

I switched on the tv.

I see lands overwhelmed by tsunami waters and houses and cars swept along like a child playing Lego and ground ripped open and things collapsed.

I see mothers crying at the first moment when they could make phone calls and they heard their children's voice.

I see people going back to the wrecked places, broken and ruined, and in pieces.. And they tried, still try, to find that hope of life, of breathing, of struggle..

Where there is still a struggle, there is life.

And I see miracle rescues, of man being trapped for days, and still very much alive!

Where there is struggle, there is life.

While these people are putting up such a good fight against the harsh realities that had came upon them, not wanting to concede defeat,...

Everything around them may have collapsed, broken, ruined, utterly destroyed.... but they are not going to let themselves be broken.

I look at them, and I think about myself.

Where there is struggle, there is life.

Where is my struggle? Have I so easily given in to the temptations and lies of the world and forgotten how much God means to me? Have I really been deceived that God doesn't know and that it is really okay? Do I not remember that God is holy?

I need to learn from Japan and put up a fight. The world around me may be broken and no more, but I am not gonna allow myself to be broken.

I want to be complete, and perfect, when Jesus comes again.

----

Have been feeling a little depressed these few days. At the very first when I got to know about Japan's situation, I was going to write a post starting with, "How am I supposed to..."

How am I supposed to get on with my lesson planning and worry about whether everything will run smoothly in class the next day when the waters are rushing onto lands and roads and overwhelming everything?

How am I supposed to eat my lunch and decide not to finish it because I have no appetite, when many are going hungry and cold, happily satisfied with something that's warm?

How am I supposed to be out shopping and catching up with friends when people are stranded and separated and crying and scared?

How am I supposed to get on with my life when people can't get on with their life anymore, at least not how it used to be?

I haven't been able to sleep well, spending the time on bed mulling over these things and feeling down. I was just not able to make sense of God's ways yet.

But after these few days of mixed emotions, and also realising that I have drifted away from God (see above) because I haven't really been talking to Him, because I don't know what to say to Him, I decided that this isn't the way God wants me to be.

Yes, it is one of the worst disasters ever to happen... and yes, survivors are in a terrible situation, and yes, people are scared and cold and hungry... but I see them still holding on to hope, and to life.

They are so strong; how can I be so weak?

How can I glue myself to the television and watch scenes after scenes of the horrible tragedy and only cry? Weeping will not save them! What else can I do?

Ann says,
If I am moved but choose not to respond, won’t I soon harden, unable to respond?

What can I do for you, japan?

... will you join me in prayer?

Labels: contemplation, counting grace, encountering God