the time of singing has come!

I woke up at 730 am today.

Today had been a good day.

My kids were quite cooperative.

I managed to submit a couple of things.

I managed to prepare a little ahead of lessons.

And we practised ukulele!

And while I was walking back home from school (albeit with am empty stomach), the sky was cloudy and peaceful and it wasn't hot at all.

And to end my day on a happy note, I am SLEEPING EARLY!

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still troubled over a couple of things... but
some things are meant to be mull over silently in the heart

I thought it was fine that we aren't crossing each other's paths.

Because that means we are not stepping on each other's toes.

But Esau ran to meet him, and embraced him, and fell on his neck and kissed him, and they wept. (Genesis 33:4)

I wonder how Jacob felt prior to meeting Esau. I think he would rather not meet him? He was unsure of how the meeting might turn out... and uncertainty always makes people apprehensive.

Messy. Selfish. Dry. Weary.

Have you had days like that before?

Days when you are not even sure if you can last till the end of that day?

Days when you are disgusted with your own hypocrisy?

Days when you feel like you can never stand blameless before God, because of all the wrongs you have commited?

I had days when all I want to do was to lie on the bed after reaching home from work and never get up.

Physical fatigue plus topping of shame.

Not sure how I measure up in the eyes of God now.

But when we feel as though we cannot go on anymore - where and how do I find the motivation to go on, God reminds us of the burning bush that does not burn up (Exodus 3:2).

Because there is God dwelling there; He is in the midst.

Therefore, though we are weary, though we are dry, we are not consumed. We can burn on and on.

The oil of the Holy Spirit sustains us; that is, if we know how to continue to rely on this holy oil in our everyday needs and struggles.

Hearing God in the dark spaces.

Labels: contemplation

I have been feeling under the weather. And the weather isn't making me feel any better.

Someone told me I wouldn't be hired to read the weather. hah.

I have also been thinking a lot about slowing down and filtering my life. I am not sure if I am really going way too fast for the person that I am made to be... Or maybe I am trying to be someone way too big for the small lady I should instead be.

I always thought that to live is to strive. Strive for God and His kingdom. Which means, snatching souls, leading His little ones to Him, and making sure my own spirituality is still moving heavenward.

If ever I feel comfortable, if ever I find myself lazing around too long, I am not using the time that God has given me properly. I am not redeeming the time.

Someone commented that my wish to strive sounds.... tiring. And while I don't wish to admit it sometimes, I think that my body is confessing to it. Because it seems to me that my little mortal body can't take the strain of wanting to do too much in too little time.

Sometimes, I just want to put everything down and just enjoy this life that God has given me. Of course I don't mean indulging in all sorts of lusts to satisfy any sinful desires... But I mean,... taking time to appreciate the flowers, or the little children playing in the rain, or simply a good book.

I have been reminded lately in quite a few ways about not doing too much.

just think it shouldnt be something that takes every spare minute u know?

These words did ring in my ears and continued to buzz me in my heart every now and then.

The diligent find freedom in their work;
the lazy are oppressed by work. (Proverbs 12:24)

Desire without knowledge is not good, and one who moves too hurriedly misses the way. (Proverbs 19:2)

These verses also seemed to be telling me something.

Sometimes, I do wonder if I'm trying to do too much. I often feel like I haven't got enough time. But I would then look at some other people and compare and think, "Look, I am not even doing as much as they are! I should be ashamed and do more!"

However, maybe I shouldn't compare.

Maybe God has a different purpose for every one. And maybe they are the ones who are purposed to do more, because they are given the grace to do more.

Rick Warren wrote, "You have just enough time to do God's will while you're here on earth. You've been given just enough time to fulfill your purpose. When you try to do more than God planned for you, it's only natural that you'll find yourself constantly out of time or stressed over your schedule."

To do only the things that God created me to do...

What is it?

What are the things I should filter out?

And what are the things I should focus on?