I have not seen him act like that before.
Sure, he was a little queer (in the eyes of others), and my first attitude towards him was one that was on guard.... but over time, I found him simple and adorable.
He is the only one who will happily wave to me when he gets to school. His facial expression and body language is a direct translation of how he is feeling within. Even though he seems 'strange' to some who might not know him, I found him to have rather good social skills already because he knows when I would get angry and knows how to appease my anger. He knows what's good to do, and what's not good.
However, today, on the train, out of the blue, he cried.
The rest of the class and I were puzzled!
It turns out that he was left alone on the seat far away from the rest of us for too long..... and he started to think too much....
When another student went up to him, he asked him, "Why you don't like me? Why you don't want to be my friend? Why you don't want to talk to me?"
It was at that moment that I realised he was feeling left-out, seeing the rest of us talking and laughing together, forgetting about him.
I didn't know what the other passengers on the train thought about him at that moment. They probably thinks he is weird, and I started to be protective of him. I wanted him to learn that we were not deserting him, and that he shouldn't be saying things like that, and that it just so happened that we were standing a distance away.
I believe that even before we went up to him, he was already fighting hard within himself with all that. But when we went to him, he let go of his emotions and let it all out. However, as I have said, he listens, and he understands, and it took a while for him to be comforted, but shortly after, he came to me and apologised.
As I thought about how strangers would probably view him as someone strange, or 'different', I realised... aren't we all the same?
Yes, we don't usually have sudden emotional outbursts on public transport, but don't we so often also think too much? We dwell too much on something until it becomes true and real to us, when in fact, it isn't so. Aren't we all social creatures, craving for that bit of attention from another being who breathes?
We are in fact all the same. Our emotional outbursts are within our hearts and inside our heads. If anyone is viewing my boy differently, then we got to look at ourselves again. Because we are all the same.
And the truth is, they live much happier lives because they cry when they feel like it, and laugh out loud when they are tickled. Sure, they need to be taught more social skills, and appropriate public behaviours, but I only hope these do not teach them to bury their true self and their hearts deep into the soil of the masked world.
When everyone else is wearing a mask, these souls with their angelic faces bring a smile to my own face. I can't help but to pull off my own mask.
...I feel so blessed to have these children to grow together with me. I may not realised it fully yet; but in fact, each of them have already found a place in my heart. I want to see them grow up.
They have each taught me many things.... I will miss them (: