the time of singing has come!

Aren't you weary, Jesus?

Waiting so long for me.

----
I am weary, Jesus.

I didn't want to open the door cos I didn't think I deserve it anymore

but when i realised that You are still outside knocking

I want to open

I want to receive You in

But I need my keys

Will you still be there when I finally open the door?

Why did it have to be a friend
Who chose to betray the Lord
Why did he use a kiss to show them
That's not what a kiss is for

Only a friend can betray a friend
A stranger has nothing to gain
And only a friend comes close enough
To ever cause so much pain

And why did there have to be a thorny
Crown pressed upon His head
It should have been a royal one
Made of jewels and gold instead

It had to be a crown of thorns
Because in this life that we live
For all who seek to love
A thorn is all the world has to give

And why did there have to be
A heavy cross He was made to bare
And why did they nail His feet and hands
His love would have held Him there

It was a cross for on a cross
A thief was supposed to pay
And Jesus had come into the world
To steal every heart away
Yes, Jesus had come into the world
To steal every heart away

---

yeaa
i marvel at the capacity of a mere human to cause hurt on another
i marvel at how intense and lasting that pain can be

And only a friend comes close enough
To ever cause so much pain

how long more?

i think i can only pretend that it hurts no more.

---

im alright.
just leave me alone and give me more time?

and i just realised im stuck in singapore.
bonded to work in singapore for three years because of the tuition fee grant thing
man... and i was hoping to go aussie to work

oh wells.

ugly ugly ugly

you know the game we play at Settlers' cafe

quite a dumb game huh

but those three words kept repeating themselves in my head today

):

i dont even know how to pray before God

i feel unworthy

like, how long more do i need?

keep falling short of the glory of God

i think, soon, i will be cast out into the fire

but

im so tired

drained

im not sure how else to do this

what else to do

how much more effort to put in

im not sure how to change my heart

its not as easy as i made it seemed in my theolo's sermon


can i start all over again?

i thought i can once i returned from aussie

but strangely

everything remained status quo

it must be my heart

whats wrong with me

----
to remember HUMILITY (remove ALL pride please),

Not to expect anything from anyone (then each small gesture would be a blessing and grace from God),

That i am unworthy to do His work, but He gives me the chance to serve Him,

and LOVE.

you know, the love as defined by the bible?
if i truly love, then probably i can become more beautiful

not ugly
like now

my apologies

Absolutely stunning.
Beautifully sung.

I can't not post this up.

Love the children and their smiles, and the voices in unity praising God.

Kinda made me miss choir (:



More updates on aussie and stuffs maybe later. (:
the heat constantly confirmed the fact that i am back home,
and somehow, its good to be home.

miss perth.

melbourne is so different

that it's causing my memories of perth to fade away slowly....

but i guess some memories can never fade away.

ask God to preserve those memories.

This was the title of the hymnal service tonight.

So strange....
It feels like God is really near me.

Wherever I go, He is still here with me.
And He is telling me,
Yes,
Wait on Me,
And it will all be okay in the end.
All those things will pass.
You will never have sorrow again.
You will never be weary again.

You will find strength
To carry on.
As long as you keep Me close to your heart
Never letting Me go.
I will make all things right.
Everything will fall into place.
You can have no worries.

Remember
your own words.
A time to rest
in God;
and a time to spend with loved ones.

Rest well.

"have fun, and let your heart heal with your friends around you"


I will.

It's been good so far.
Actually, all I asked for is time with my loved ones.
and time with God.

This is it!!!

I can't believe I can really do this :D

If I had been smoke-ing on Saturday (trying to fan the little fire that I have, creating lots of smoke so that it looks like I got a big fire),

I was desperately trying to convince my lecturer today that I have that fire in the first place.
I don't think she will believe me.

oh wells.
one more to go.
before i enter into UNCERTAINTY.

Somewhere, over the rainbow, way up high.
There's a land that I heard of Once in a lullaby.
Somewhere, over the rainbow, skies are blue.
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true.

Someday I'll wish upon a star and wake up where the clouds are far Behind me.
Where troubles melt like lemon drops, Away above the chimney tops.
That's where you'll find me.

Somewhere, over the rainbow, bluebirds fly.
Birds fly over the rainbow,
Why then - oh, why can't I?
If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow,
Why, oh, why can't I?

好难过。

怎么聚会好像没有功效?
怎么延长的祷告也没有能力？
怎么回家的路上 我的心一直无法平息 脑海里一直无法安静？
怎么祷告时感觉好累？

难道大人的世界真的那么复杂吗？
难道真的没有所谓的理想吗？
如果你还在，你会对我说什么？
鼓励吗？劝阻吗？

真的不能追求我的梦想吗？
真的没前途吗？
谁管有没有前途？或许耶稣明天就来了。。

好烦。
我讨厌自己这么容易被事情困扰。

我还是去读书了。

-----



nope, nothing can take away my love for little children and my passion to work with them.

i suddenly realised why I was reading the chapter on "The burden of Self-reliance" last night.
i had decided to just read a chapter before i started studying.

now i know why.
God has pre-empt.

can't help though that my amygdala still works perfectly normally
can't help that my tears glands are perfectly fine too
haha

God's way.
Which way?
Where?
I want it! But where?

------

The Lord is my shepherd.
I am His sheep.

Remember, I am only a sheep.
I need my shepherd.

There will be a better way.
In the meantime, enjoy!

(Traveling Light by Max Lucado)

主原知道

this four chinese characters bring much comfort to me everytime i think of them

i know that i am still lacking
i know that i am still very weak
i know that i am still far from perfect

i believe that God can make me whole
i believe that He can fill up what is lacking in me
i believe that He is able to turn my weaknesses into strengths

For His glory.

He foreknew.
So, don't worry.

Hann has been with us for one year already!
May 1 , 2009.
In this past year, he has been a great source of emotional support for me.
In retrospect, I know God has prepared him for me.

Uploaded some videos I took of him while he was playing with his "ball"
It ended up deflated -__-

Planning to get him a real decent ball for his "birthday"
ermmm, after my exams i guess
He will just have to wait before he can be trained to be a real footballer
Anyone wants him on the team?